Mafia Gazette Past Issue 80
The Mafia Gazette Issue 80 For All The News That Is News (E&OE) Friday 10th March 'RANDOM ATTACKS ' By: Theyesman It seems as if all the talk these days is about random killings. What has the world come to if this is all there is to say? Why do people random kill? Why do respected Mafioso’s have to die at the whim of some wannabe gangster? These are all questions that regularly get asked, but no true reply is given. One member of the community who has been affected by these attacks has spoken out. Totally-Guitarded has had many members of her crew randomly shot down, more so in the last week or so. In one day three members of her crew were gunned down in three separate cities, one of which was supposed to be safe. One of these three was Jack Delaney, a respected Mafioso who was friends with our very own editor and chief Carmela. However, it’s not just Totally-Guitarded’s crew that has been affected, many other crews have been having the same problem. “In the past joining a crew, especially a made crew, would offer you some protection.. People would not touch you, or at least be less likely to. These days it seems though that no one cares if their targets are in a crew or not.” It is extremely hard these days to rank up past the mark of citizen without someone trying to blow your head off. After a death from Totally-Guitarded’s crew, she feels “angry and annoyed, both at myself and the killers.. At myself because I feel I should have been able to help and protect my crew members, even though with a stealthy or one shot kill there’s nothing that could be done, and annoyed with these killers, who are quite happy to kill these people and never admit to it, or give reason for it at the funerals. Will there be no end to these killings? Will more crews suffer at the heart of randoms? Is there no light at the end of the tunnel? Well these are questions that can only be answered through time. 'CHAOS IN DENVER ' By: Jackie_Giamatti News spread across the cities informing even the smallest cliques that Denver too had in fact been locked down! Before you spew remarks such as 'Oh the wickedness' or 'That's just damn wrong' or even 'You can't &%!"$%& do that!' you need not fear. Jellyman, in light of the events of Detroit, had taken it upon himself to publicly announce the need for all people to cease their lives of crime in this somewhat desolate city. He even went as far as offering ONE dollar for people to leave the city peacefully. Yes folks.. You heard it...ONE DOLLAR! His actions were met with some boisterous and dubious remarks and responses. Some had gone as far as saying that they did not even visit the city in all the time that they have roamed these streets, shocking! Jellyman may have actually pulled off the biggest publicity stunt for quite some time, morphing himself into someone 'famous' as he put it. He then went on to comment of future plans, stating "It's Denver relatively quiet... making it an easier place for me to ask people to let me lock it down... I figured I’ll start small, and then go big... possibly asking people to let me lock down Chicago or New York... something along those lines." A rather twisted and optimistic plan indeed, we were unable to obtain responses or comments from leaders residing in these cities, they sent out Secretaries to laugh at these remarks on behalf of them. It looked as if Jellyman was raising a few eyebrows in the area, having obtained a bank statement from his home I was able to obtain information that on March 7th at 2:40pm Jellyman had in fact been in touch with the bank of Denver to organise a wire transfer of $1 (+10%!) to Mr-Killuminati! Several more of these also came to light! Some sick members of Society have even gone as far as requesting to see the dollar first and making a sick practical joke of it, upon possession of it, skipping town! Let me, on behalf of the Gazette tell those culprits now, you are neither human nor respectable for carrying out such extreme acts of deception! We could tell Jellyman was no fool, a shrewd businessman; a leader of the cities approached him with the following proposition, which read "Dear Jellyman, I am currently not in Denver. May I have a dollar? Respectfully yours, HeavyweightHammer." The response.. "Dear HeavyweightHammer, In reply to your message I am going to have to decline your request of $1. The fact being, having already shovelled out $3 to the Denver faithful, asking them to leave Denver for the time being...funds are running low..." Interesting stuff! Jellyman even served time for his various dollar dealings so is now no stranger to the cruel and harsh realities of the World... When observing the various dealings in and out of the city, I could see Jellyman becoming ever so confused with all the dollars in his hands. "Depends if your gonna pay me $10 and if your not... then I owe you $1 WOW this is all getting a tad confusing," I overheard. I sat there beside him counting up names and crossing them off the dollar list, until I too thought to hell with it, I’m not going to Denver again anyways! Although we acknowledge the actions taken by Jellyman, we shall not ever endorse the city in its apparent new name, certainly not! *Views expressed are that of the individual and do not highlight or necessarily connect to the views of others working for the Mafia Gazette. 'LOOKING FOR LOVE ' By: Tea_Jenny Early Wednesday morning a man walked out into the dark quiet street, stepped up on a chair and started to make an announcement. Before I go on I wonder where he got the chair from.. any bar owners missing a chair from one of their bars please contact the gazette and let us know. The man started to speak from his chair, telling the small but growing crowd how as he is growing older, the mounds of possessions he owns can no longer fulfil his loneliness. He continued to offer himself to any woman interested, offering his love, loyalty and soul.. Soon after he stepped down people started to respond to his speech, he had a few people trying to make some funny comments, angry.. who seems to be an ex boyfriend or something bursting into tears and a shocking number of men telling him he did not need a woman. SiricoIII was the first to step up and try and talk the man out of his decision, telling him that the prostitutes should be enough for him and slapping him across the face. When the man refused to listen SiricoIII replied 'Pfft. Whatever floats your boat. I just don't wanna deal with her bitching and complaining about you spending the night out late at strip joints, capisce?’ A rather chauvinistic response, what self-respecting wife would not have some objections to her husband spending late nights at strip joints? Next to attempt to change his mind was Goodfella, who tried to sign him up for the group 'The Untamed Men Of Mafia' exclaiming, 'you sir do not need a woman!' His reasoning this, 'They will only reap your rewards and hope to turn you into a domicile man! sic You do not want that for your type of lifestyle! So go out there, get yourself a gal for them one nighters and don't ever weaken yourself like this man!' Next up we had Mr Albert Neri who simply stated, "You have no need of it my friend. Look to matters of business, for women cannot understand the complexities of men like us." These final words rang through CarmelaDeAngelis’ ears as she strolled past the scene on her way home from the Gazette offices after another long day. She had heard the first mans plea, followed by each mans increasingly appalling response. After Mr Neri's response she had heard enough and decided to speak up. She started by giving the men a telling off telling them they should be ashamed of themselves for trying to deny the man what he feels he needs to make his life complete. She continued her attack on these men, telling them that they should not treat the woman as if they are inferior, they now have the vote and they work for a living. It is also true enough that there are many women in high places in the crime world now, there are at least 3 or 4 made women and capos at the moment, plus the countless numbers of female street bosses setting up all the time. In fact there is no more famous capo that I can recall than Kiss This, the female ASDA capo. Now Carmela decided to turn to the men in turn, first up was Mr Neri, clearly still mad at his last comment, although she cannot be blamed. If anyone understands this thing of ours it is Carmela. Calling him a selfish chauvinist who cannot accept the responsibility of two people rather than just himself. Second for her grilling was Goodfella, as she told him off reminding him that it was his mother, a woman, that brought him into this world and taught him all he knows. SiricoIII managed to escape Carmela’s wrath, having snuck away from the crowd during the first two's telling off. The arguing went on through the night, long after Carmela had gone and as far as anyone knows so far ManInBlack still hasn't found himself a lady willing to give him a chance. The Gazette wishes him the best of luck in his search, may he find happiness. Editor’s Note: Shortly after this article was written ManInBlack was found dead following a short argument over territory rights. His killer is reported to be 1nsight, killed later on in the day. ManInBlack died before he could find anyone to fill the gap he felt he had in his life and defending his right to territory. A double tragedy for any who knew this man. 'LACK OF HONOUR FOR THE DEAD ' By: BluffMaster Streets were crowded yesterday when Mr. Angry, one of the ASDA's strongest members, gave a speech about the value of the gangsters in our world. He felt that the 'Gangsters' weren't given enough credit anymore. He strengthened his statements by providing statements of the people that attended funerals of gangsters. Sadly and even more shockingly, their funerals were hardly attended and nothing was spoken about the Gangster himself. It was just full of simple "R.I.P.s". He pointed out that these were people that were associated with Made Men yet their funerals were so isolated. Angry also asked some very penetrating questions which shook the whole crowd. "Does their Boss simply not care that they have died?" he asked. "Are people just giving up on attending funerals? Has the constant death in the world worn us out?" In response to all of this some people blamed the Made Men of our society saying that they were just "taking in anybody with a heart beat, and they actually care little for their members." Some said that they couldn’t, as they were too late to attend as the funeral was over. Some even said that the rank of the gangster was too easy to achieve, thus there were tons of them that people didn't know. But the question still lingered on in the minds of many. Why was it so? Why was it so that so many funerals were left unattended? Why was it so that people attended could make it for funerals of friends OUT of their families and not for someone they didn't know IN their family? Why was it so that people couldn't take the time out to attend the funeral of someone who was willing to take up arms for them? Were they even more greatly neglected than the bodyguards whose funerals at least were attended by their bosses? 'NEWS IN BRIEF ' NEWS BREIF-INCREASED GANGSTER/GOOMBA KILLINGS By: Kung_The_Gun Lately there have been a lot of killings of gangsters or goombas, in other words, Made's men. At least 3 Goombas and 15 Gangsters have died in the past week, and it is uncertain if it’s all the same crew, or a gang war. If there is a war going on it probably has something to do with one of the larger groups in the community. As most readers will know, the Conceptualists have "disbanded" but there are a few still living and trying to make a comeback. In the last issue we reported on the killing of Loty, which means there is a possibility this could be connected. Maybe Loty, claiming to be a concept killer, told his son all about it before he died. His son, in revenge, has probably set his friends on the remaining concepts, and killed a lot of them, but there’s a problem there. Most of the cons joined up with the Midnight Society, and TMS has reported of no shootings, mostly because of the Detroit lockdown. People then might start looking to the other groups who know the MO of the Conceptualists and have used it to good advantage in the past. Is this happening again? Right now this is a mystery, but this reporter is on it, don’t worry. 'CONSPIRACY THEORIES ' By Jerry Fletcher So I says to the guy, what's a guy wit a gun doin' killin' people in cities that AIN'T New York, and tellin' em to stay outta the Big Apple, huh? A guy that is lookin' for a fall guy, that's who. I'll give you a dollar if you can guess where those Conceptualists is based out of. Well, I ain't got a dollar on me, but I'm good for it. Here's the tricky bit. The Conceptualists show up at all the funerals like smug gits and have nasty words to say 'bout the dead. Me? I never say a bad word about the dead, unless the guy was a real doozy. But we gots a lot of people dying, who recieved mysterious messages, tellin' em to stay outta a city they weren't even in. So where are the Conceptualists? They ain't there. But a whole lotta people talkin' in them funerals. They tellin' people that it WAS a Conceptualist kill. Those people are grieving. They brains ain't in the right place. They gotta stop to consider the facts. The big one I's already told you, Conceptualists ain't been to pay their "respects" to the graveyard. Ever wonder what happens when a guy gets fingered for a crime he didn't commit? They tar and feather him in the street, strictly speakin' of course. Seems the lower down you are on that totem pole, the easier it is to be a scapegoat. But what happens if you DID commit that crime? And what happens when you're high up on that totem pole? For some people, the go to funerals and their minds just go clear, they get that real funny look on their face and they tell everyone what they seen, or what they heard. I was driving around a guy the other day who said that he'd been to a funeral like that a few weeks back for a man of the cloth. Those people there to pay their respects, well they must heard right. But then, when you's a big man for an acronym, you think you ‘s invincible. Especially when you wack a brother. I'm not talkin' about allies, cause he's killed a few of those Vegas headliners lately. I'm talkin' about someone who you slap on the back and laugh cause yous guys have known each other for ages. The funny thing is, he's trying to blame a group known fer thinkin' theys is bigshots. But he ain't a very good liar. And he ain't got a very good backbone, if he's braggin' about them kills on his business card (and the word on the street is that he's lyin' about that number too, he's stuffing his underwear if you ask me) but denying them in public. So I gotsta wonder what kinda bird hunter he really is. 'A BRIEF LOOK INTO THE LIFE OF… ' By: PauloDinardoJr After my last Interview with Midnight Society Boss Tarby, I was given the assignment of Interviewing The Acting Boss of The Apostles Crew, AphexTwin. We started chatting and then headed straight into the questions from there, so here it is: A Brief Look Into The Life Of: AphexTwin – Made Man of The Apostles Crew. AphexTwin, Where were you brought up in this world and what families and bosses do you thank for getting you to where you are today? He looked at me and with no hesitation is first words were “Well, the reason I am Made today is the help of one Albert Neri, Boss of the Apostles down in Atlanta and now retired member of community”. He went on to Tell me how Mr. Neri was “A great man and a greater friend to me”, a friend who he hopes to see out and about in the streets making more moves for his prestigious family sooner rather than later. He then Talks about his families past and speaks of how his father had Taught him lots about this strange world of ours, but his father had a mentor. That mentor then took in a Young AphexTwin, and AphexTwin is now honoured to speak of him like a brother. One Mr Jimmy M, is the man AphexTwin spoke of, and described to me as “. A man with equal measures of panache and ruthlessness, a true gentleman who taught my ancestors everything they needed to know”. AphexTwin continued to speak about this “Mentor” of his before making a final statement about his past thanking the many who have had an influence on him,” many bloodlines I feel have influenced me, and certainly enriched my life and those of my ancestors”. AphexTwin told me a few stories about his previous leaders before we continued, with his struggle to made man, and how he had managed to achieve it and avoid the Random attacks. His opening statement said it all, “Becoming a Made Man within this community is easier than ever before. I remember when there were precious few out there who attained the benchmark...”.I noticed him looking at me and smiling before he asked, Paulo Do I recognise that face of yours from a previous issue of the gazette? Perhaps I replied, before continuing on with the matter at hand. He went on to say that he felt everybody was being accepted these days as a Made Man by the godfathers and described it as “spoiling the broth”. He then told how he had not found it a struggle because he had the company of the Apostles encouraging his every move, and spoke of his “ridiculously accurate gun” keeping him out of harms way, long enough to make the rank. AphexTwin joked with me about his ancestors misfortunes when it came to shooting before continuing. Currently you are running The Apostles for Mr. Neri, how did that situation come about I enquired. He told me how Mr. Neri and him had come to an arrangement which involved AphexTwin watching over his crew while he took an extended vacation. This however soon changed as Mr. Neri decided to remain retired until further notice, this making his temporary position as leader, Less temporary. I asked how the members took this, and his response said it all, “I was short sighted in presuming that members of Mr Neri's crew would wish to get in line behind someone who was actually relatively new to the Family”. He then stated that he didn’t blame any of them for wanting to “gun for their own buttons, or help out old friends”. His last words on the subject were, that the family for which he heads is in development, and for any further information needed, talk with Mr. Neri. We went on to discuss the state of the Mafia community at this point, and if he felt the number of made men was a contributing factor to the number of random deaths. He laughed, “Well to an extent I believe I've answered that question”, and then spoke about soon, the honour that was once Made Man, will soon be the same as a Street Boss and that soon only Capos and higher ranked Men and Women will get credit. Random Attacks however are just simply a way of life he explained to me, “We're all playing the same deck of cards here”. He told me that citizens remain citizens for a reason and that anyone who commits that crime to put them into the life of a thug or above, knew they were taking that risk in doing so. I nodded in agreement before asking him about his aims for the future. He looked me dead in the eye and said, “My one and only aim in this life is to make some moves towards the good old days”. He explained this to me, and it meant, that back in the days, there were fewer crews that were close with each other, almost family, he said he had experienced it and wants his crew to as well, and finished with, “It’s the only way forward”. my last question was based on a rumour I had heard around the Gazette offices about AphexTwin being a controversial character. He laughed as I asked and looked amused,” Controversy eh? Interesting question! I guess I could be seen as somewhat controversial in the company I keep”. He explained this to mean his friends are renowned for being notorious members of society, and then more seriously told me how it will always remain that way. He then told me about his most recent controversial move, jokingly he said,” How many readers out there can honestly say they've talked another man into his own suicide?”. I thought about this for a minute, he had a point, he was a scary individual, and I was sitting 5 feet from him. He continued to tell me why this may be assumed, and told me an extremely controversial story about his great grandfathers actions one day.” I guess my great, great grandfather did drug and wed a lady one day before her real wedding was to take place. So there must be a slight tendency in my bloodline to lean towards the controversial”. I laughed as he told me the story of his grandfather, but inside I was wondering this man opposite me has admitted to murder, and also to being associated with notorious gangsters. I shook his hand and showed him out of the office, wondering if the next time I would meet him, it would be on good terms. 'HOW PROTECTION WORKS (PT. 2) ' By: SiricoIII *How Protection Works* What usually happens is you owe someone something (cash, merchandise, work, etc.) and they expect you to deliver by a certain date. If you can't deliver, that's when you run into trouble. If you are on your own, that is, with no one to vouch for you, you are as good as dead if you can't deliver. Let's say you work in an office and you are working on a big project. You don't finish it by the deadline and your boss is ready to fire your sorry butt. Heck, he'd throw you out the window and down 75 floors if he could. The guy is fuming because you messed up. Basically, you are done for unless someone else who is at the same level or higher in the organization vouches for you, and asks your boss to give you a second chance (or third chance if you're a real cafone ). What this guy is doing is offering you protection. He may do it because he likes you, but most likely you will have to ask him to speak for you and there will be a price to pay. Keep reading and I'll give you the inside track on what protection is really going to cost you, so be prepared to pay the price. Also, another jabroni wrote me an annoying letter so I let him have it good. So what's the price to pay? If he helps you out, then he's got someone on the inside of that division that owes him a big one. And you will have to pay up or he'll get you fired in no time flat. So he saves your job but now you have to feed him with information, fetch his dry-cleaning, or hook him up with some hot broads he can add to his stable of mistresses. My point is that when someone heavy steps in for you, there will be a price to pay and you won't realize the real cost until much later as a rule. One more thing you guys should keep in mind is that once they help you out, they know something about you that you may not particularly want exposed. So be careful whom you pick as protection or they could cause some major damage to your life if they so choose. Make sure you can trust them or I guarantee it will come back to bite you where the sun don't shine. For you slowpokes out there, here is the basic review: if you are in over your head, you will need some kind of protection to avoid going under. The protection will come from people with influence. That influence will cost you something, even if it appears to be free. Be prepared to pay the price and when the time comes to pony-up, always pay, or the protection will make you wish you hadn't used protection to begin with. (Part 1 can be found in Issue 79 of the Mafia Gazette) 'MAFIA LORE ' By: SonnyFontane "The tale of a courageous and generous 'man of honor' must be destroyed, because a Mafioso is just the opposite." It was once said that Mafioso wouldn't be able to change our lives from which we were brought into. We would have to live our lives with that evil we endured throughout the years of petty crime, lying, and murder. Although this is still going on in this world of ours, it doesn't mean that all of us aren't necessarily courageous and generous 'men of honour'. Everyone does some good in their lifetime; we save our friends and family, donate money, and even hand those old ladies their purses back. Whatever this may be, we are all Mafioso's, but we truly are not 'Nobody's'. All of us have stories to tell, good or bad, and we have friends around us who know us! Why can't we just be courageous and generous 'men of honour' to the world and let them think what they want, but in this world of ours, we are living and breathing Mafioso's of honour and respect. The problem these days, is that the world looks upon organized crime and laughs. They laugh at us, because all they think we do is crime. We steal and murder. In some cases this may be true, but what they don't know is actually how good we can truly be. We aren't one of those people you should fear, we can hurt you, but we have a brain. Every time we're about to attempt something in life, we think before we act. Being a Mafioso isn't so easy if you didn't already know. You are organized in so many things your life is literally on the line; with the wrong move, there's no knowing what will happen next. Next time you think about the bad side of crime, think about all the good you've done in your lives. Maybe you'll realize what a difference you made in life and how you can do more to repay for what you did. 'PICASSO’S PROFILING ' Aeon: This is a bit like Zeon, except rather than using the last letter in the alphabet you have used the first. If by being Aeon you are anything like an eon, I don’t think I would like waiting around for you. Name = 7 Picasso Points. Your picture shows a sleek woman in dark tight fitting clothing. She looks like some sort of ninja or assassin. How on earth did she manage to fit into those trousers? They are so tight they look painted on. Mmm, paint. Picture = 7 Picasso Points. ~Aeon scores 7 Picasso Points. Bianchi: Sounds like a good strong Italian surname to me. Most people tend to go for a first name too but this still works well, as many people are called by their surname by associates and acquaintances. Names like these bring a good identity to this thing of ours. Name = 7 Picasso Points. A fairly religious looking pose from Pacino in this picture. He doesn’t look to be praying though, more in a ponderous mood than anything. He looks fairly orange, as if he has applied far too much fake tan, which is a little strange. Picture = 7 Picasso Points. ~Bianchi scores 7 Picasso Points. TheNephilim: I still can’t work out what on earth your name means. To me it has a feeling of death surrounding it. It may be the collective name for a group of beings but again this is guesswork. A rather strange name for these parts. Name = 6 Picasso Points. Your picture shows one of these ‘Nephilim’. It is a little dark for my liking and makes me squint to try and make it out properly. He appears to be looking through a hole in the wall and seems rather worse for wear. Picture = 6 Picasso Points. ~TheNephilim scores 6 Picasso Points. SonnyFontane: I like this name because it is a classic sounding mobster name. You could just imagine a guy brandishing a tommy gun with a name like this. ‘Sonny’ can sometimes be used as a first name or a nickname and coupled with your surname works very well. Name = 8 Picasso Points. I think this picture is on the right lines. The shadow and greys work well with the mafia world we reside in. There is definitely an aura of mystery shrouding this figure. Perhaps the image could be a little sharper but it’s a very good effort. Picture = 7 Picasso Points. ~SonnyFontane scores 7.5 Picasso Points. Beautifully_Chaotic: This is a great name because both parts of it should never compliment each other – but they do. By rights they should not even match up but the contrast between the two enhances the name. Made the entire better because names like this are very uncommon. Name = 8 Picasso Points. This Image has been produced to a very high standard. It obviously relates well to your name and varying degrees of faded text improves its appearance. The suggestion of time is an interesting one, as time is definitely of the essence around here. Picture = 8 Picasso Points. ~ Beautifully_Chaotic scores 8 Picasso Points. That means that this issues Picasso Star Profile is awarded to Beautifully_Chaotic. Congratulations, $5000 and bragging rights are yours. Ever wondered what people think of you? Want to know what the professionals think of your name and face? Would you like an accurate and unbiased view of how you portray yourself to the world? If the answer to any of these questions is “Yes” then you need Picasso’s Profiling, exclusive here at the Gazette. Contact Picasso for more information. 'MAFIA LOTTERY ' Thank you to all who participated in the first draw of the Mafia Lottery. With over $1.2 Million in cash and over 100 Tickets sold you all helped make this a successful first draw for the lottery. Also I would like to congratulate Sexy_Zadie and TheStreetLaywer on having the winning tickets. The second draw is now open, and this time, there are no limits on how many tickets you may purchase. So if you are interested in purchasing tickets again or are buying for the first time, please just leave me a message, and ill get back to you as soon as I can. I would also like to extend a special thanks to CarmelaDeAngelis for doing the honors of selecting the two winning tickets. lnsight 'MONEYPENNY’S MAILBAG ' My mailbag has been positively bursting at the seams since the last issue of the Gazette! Alas its contents were not letters, but petrified citizens hiding from the lockdowns Denver, Detroit, Tulsa, Pensacola, Ohio, and the whole of Canada. I have arranged for them to be moved to a half-way house, but in the meantime PLEASE don't forget to send in your letters! Dear MP, I was just wondering why I cant lick my elbows? Maximus-D MP replies: Only a fool would even TRY lick his own elbows without first applying yeast extract. Yeast yourself up and give it a go ~ preferably in front of elderly family members, or perhaps members of the opposite sex that you find attractive. I know *I* like to see a man with brown elbows trying to lick them clean. Dear MONEYPENNY’S MAILBAG, My friend Mr Pickles puts his socks on before his underpants....This really puts me off, It just looks weird. How can I tell him to stop that and get him to wash his pits in a way that won't hurt his feelings. Help Me Please, Jack D MP replies: Don't get me STARTED on Pickles and his dubious fashion/hygiene routine. My advice? Firstly be thankful that he's even wearing underpants at all. Secondly - there is no kind way to tell someone that they smell, though generally I do suggest that there are some expressions best avoided, such as:- 1. Any statement comparing the smell to animal corpses. 2. Any statement comparing the smell to rotting vegetation. 3. Any statement comparing the smell to Mr Pickles. Alas, seeing as this IS Mr Pickles, you will just have to be cruel to be kind. 'THE REAL WORD ON THE STREET ' A Gossip Column by Ivanna Gossip Step right up folks for the latest edition of The Real Word on the Street. Take it from a woman that knows her gossip. She says, "The word on the street is... Thandie doesn’t really own all those men, they are just on a lease with an option to buy. She says, "The word on the street is... Picasso learned how to paint from a monkey, with Tourettes. She says, "The word on the street is... Angel_Islington’s halo fell so far, she is using it for a waist chain . She says, "The word on the street is... ManInBlack was seen wearing fuchsia. She says, "The word on the street is... Uncle_Fester has no nieces or nephews. She says, "The word on the street is... Cireco’s gun hand is shakier than Katharine Hepburn’s head in a helicopter. 'OBITUARYS FOR MARCH 7TH THROUGH 9TH: ' *Mad_Dog: Even with his family line's controversial actions this Dog proved the apple can fall far from the tree. JTocco, RIP my good friend Paulo-Gismondo-Jr, Well I wasn't expecting this, despite your father's actions you had won my trust and respect. I never though I would say this but it's sad to see you go. *Jack_Delaney: A successful bar owner loved by those he knew and respected by those he didn't. CarmelaDeAngelis,You gave me back my happiness for such a short time Jack. I will never forget you. We never had the time to tell each other how we felt, but you meant the world to me. Jim_Corveno,"Nobody does it better,Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody does it half as good as you. Delaney, you're the best. " *Reshli: A man trying to better the community, cut down in his prime. HeavyweightHammer, Rest in Peace, Reshli. Consequential_Conscience,Eesh tough luck. RIP *J_Malcovic: One of the worst ways to go for a man of his calibur. Massimiliano_Pantella, RIP **Lays Red Rose** A great man gone in such a bad way. Dragen, Damn...RIP mate *Big_Hat: A kind soul, who was never to busy to help those in need. PauloDinardoJr, RIP mate. You were a good man, who spoke about problems before shooting. Re5hli, RIP ...you will be missed. 'CLASSIFIEDS ' Anyone wishing to place an ad should send it in to Bunny_Masterson c/o the Mafia Gazette. All ads are free, but must still fall within the set guidelines. CostaDelBlowFly - * Horses For Sale * 1 Beautiful Goon $1,200,000 2 Slick Gentleman $1,200,000 3 Twisted Geek $3,500,000 Will discount if you buy more than one! No reasonable offer refused! ---------------------------------------- --------------------------- The Aces High Casino is located on the famed Las Vegas strip, home to the finest dining, gaming and entertainment in the world. All of the 1,500 rooms and suites are just a few steps away from the casino, 30 restaurants, showroom, shops, hotel lobby and recreation area. Tower and Penthouse guests are only a short elevator ride from all of the action. All rooms and suites have central heating and cooling systems, TV with basic cable channels, telephone with a direct link to your personal concierge, electronic door locks, wall safes, valet cleaning service and 24-hour room service dining. Each En-Suit Bathroom is decorated elegantly in granite and is complete with double head shower and deluxe spa. The Aces also boasts a luxurious 2 1/2 acre outdoor recreational complex includes two swimming pools enjoined by neatly manicured tropical gardens. Graceful palm trees enshroud winding promenades that lead to the waterfall spas. Visit us now for all your gaming pleasures. First 50 guests receive 100 free chips. ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------- Good evening, GoodMans here. I just wanted to let you know that I have a bar in Chicago, The Goody Bar. I hope to see you there, it has some new facilities inside like a horse racing. We'll see you at the races, we promise you a fantastic time. ---------------------------------------- ----------------------------